Career Cube Blog

Meal interviews take place for one of three reasons:

1. You’re a middle - or more likely - an upper-level candidate where a relocation is involved and having dinner with a few executives from the company is the final step in the process
2. Regardless of management level, the position involves interaction between the company and clients and frequently over meals
3. People are busy and interviewing over lunch is convenient, especially when the candidate is employed and lunch the easiest time for the interview to take place. This is the only time when a meal interview is likely to be at one of the otherwise taboo places mentioned below

In the first example, chances are it’s a three-step interview process: phone, you alone for one afternoon, and a more extensive trip with your spouse in order to meet other executives within the company. If the interviewing process has reached this stage, you are probably one of two candidates. At this point, the process becomes more of a screen out than a screen in. Your industry related abilities have passed muster. Your personality and philosophies seem to fit with the company. What they are looking for now is how well you juggle the socializing, how well you represent the company in public, and does your spouse compliment you and represent you well rather than getting drunk and doing a table dance or chattering about inane topics.

Quite frankly - except to some extent in the first example - while the primary purpose is the interview, there’s a secondary purpose to these mind-your-manners meal interviews: your potential employer wants to know if when you represent the company at mealtime, will your manners leave him comfortable or mortified? In the case of convenience - your manners don’t really come into play much at all as long as you don’t talk with your mouth full.

In any case, meals and interviews are multi-tasking nightmares, regardless of the reason they’re scheduled. But this issue is aimed primarily at the meal interviews where manners matter - where customer and client interaction is likely part of the job and whether you talk with your mouth full or not is not only of paramount importance but is only a small piece of the pie (so to speak).

And by the way, this article isn’t just for non-executives. Not only have some of my previous clients told me stories about mealtime interviews (not always with people I’ve represented, thank goodness), but I’ve seen a few executives execute some very poor decisions during these mealtime interviews.

Probably, the interviewer will choose the restaurant. But not always. Sometimes they want to throw you a curve ball and see what you come up with. Sometimes they’re being gracious, with no agenda behind the question. Ever hear that saying “everything in moderation?” That’s a good one to apply here. Balance. Not too casual, not too fancy. Not too inexpensive, not too upscale. Not too noisy, not deathly quiet. Going fancier for dinner is okay.

Where you choose - if you’re asked to - depends on if it’s for a casual, convenience factor and the level of the position. If it involves interaction with clients and meals out are part of the job description here are a few examples of places that are national or close to it. They - and the idea of them - should be avoided. If you know a good local place, opt for that over a chain, only because chain restaurants, for some reason, tend to be crowded and noisy and casual - or some combination of the three. Here are a few for examples: Chili’s, Friday’s, Applebee’s, Bennigan’s, Denny’s (gasp!), any pizza parlor, Cracker Barrel, delis, BBQ joints, etc.

Drinking
No. Not even if the interviewer does. You want to add a third complication to the mix? An interview, a meal….and alcohol? Yes, most people can handle one, but that’s not the point. Even if your company Christmas parties are drunken festivals, even if the people you are with order a third or fourth martini, YOU need to be clear, concise and focused. This is not the company that’s already hired you, this is a company that is deciding IF they want to hire you. If you’re with a number of company members and they order you a drink anyway (and they may be heavy drinkers or they may be testing you), rather than make a stink, drink it slowly or leave it sit. But only have one and only under those circumstances.

Alcohol can very easily cause you to forget that a decision hasn’t been made and leave you with the feeling that you’re the guy, you’re the one, you’ve got it in the bag. If you feel that’s the case, you probably don’t have the job. Drinking on an interview is just bad form and leads to assuming a casualness and camaraderie that doesn’t actually exist.

Food Choices
Should you order what the interviewer does? Some say yes. I say, who cares what the interviewer orders? If it sounds good, order it. If you hate fish, order something else. On the other hand, as much as you might love spaghetti and meatballs, do you really want to deal with answering a question while you’re trying not to slurp your pasta? Or having a piece whip around your fork and leave sauce on your cheek? Likewise anything else that’s messy. Stick to what you can cut into small bites with a fork and a knife - any food eaten with your hands is off limits and having a napkin doesn’t change that. Small bites make your conversation easier.

Some also say that if the food is not cooked to your liking, don’t send it back. I say, “bother on that” also. Those of you who follow me know I don’t advocate falseness or deviation from who you are - as long as you remain professional and use good common sense. If you don’t like your tuna rare and didn’t order it that way, then send it back. Just be gracious about it!

Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don’t slurp your soup (and proper etiquette is to spoon it away from you when you eat it) and don’t leave your soup spoon in the bowl when you’re done - it goes on your plate. The garlic steak is not a good choice! Don’t put your elbows on the table - left arm goes on your lap, and the right arm holds your fork. That’s your bread plate to your left and your water glass to your right. Don’t use your teeth to rip hunks of your roll out - break it into little pieces and butter only the piece you’re about to eat. Above all: When you’re finished, DON’T STACK YOUR DISHES!

Here’s some good advice in general: if in doubt, instead of looking lost with your hands hovering over your plate while you wonder what the heck to do, just smile and relax a minute. Follow your interviewer’s lead.

Dessert and Coffee
Just like the drinking, you’ll be asked to answer first. If you want either or both, ask your interviewer. If they’re partaking, fine. If they aren’t, pass. First, he may not want either. Secondly, he may be done with the interview. It’s not your place to hold things up while your interviewer sits there watching you eat, and either continues the conversation or has to continue the conversation because you ordered a last course.

A Word on Paying
It’s smart to bring cash (cash!) and be prepared to pay the bill, but don’t be expected to, and don’t offer! The interviewer is the host, and he pays both bill and tip. On the other hand, if you do have to pay, be nice, part ways, and sever all future contact! Asking you to pay is grossly inappropriate and - small things telling - the person is likely to be as inconsiderate if he were to become your boss. Either that or the company is in financial trouble, and do you really want that issue connected to your paycheck?

If you’ve done your prep - oh, so very important - then you’ve come with questions. Those questions not only provide you with necessary information about the company and your prospective job, but they give you chewing time! Throw one of your questions out there, then take a bite of food. Let your interviewer deal with the chewing-and-talking process for a few minutes.

Meal interviews, like the rest of the interview process, follow the same prinicples: common sense, politeness, preparation (always!), being honest about who you are. Okay, maybe being honest about who you are is that you like hamburgers and a beer - but that’s not common sense under the circumstances. However much you don’t like being under a microscope, that’s where an interview puts you - with or without food in the equation.

Mind your P’s and Q’s, don’t slurp your iced tea, and exhibit the ultimate in proper decorum. Because, as always, it’s about you remaining in control of your perfect job seeking process. You want the choice to be yours, not theirs. Although I’ll add that since mealtime interviews usually are a final step, if you’re not seriously interested in the company, you shouldn’t be sitting there at the table with them. So all the more reason to pay attention, lest an offer that was to be, suddenly becomes an offer that wasn’t, and all because you talked with your mouth full the whole time!

by Judi Perkins

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