Career Cube Blog

I found a very depressing site the other day. It came up when I googled the phrase “I hate my job”: the “I hate my job” site. (What was I expecting when I googled that phrase anyway?) It’s full of people complaining about their job. And it’s more than just venting. Much of it is not only hostile, it’s hateful. Very few of them seem to be doing anything about their circumstances except venting. I wonder if they’re expecting to walk into the office one day and find some significant change having taken place overnight?

Individuals such as these are one reason why I set out to teach people how to find the perfect job. When you understand the science and psychology behind what’s involved in the search, you begin to realize it’s not only possible to achieve it, but it’s do-able in a short period of time and with you in control of both the process and the outcome.

The most common reason people fail to make a change is fear - or perhaps fear combined with landing in roughly the same kind of environment again. It’s like the person who’s been dating for so long and always winds up with a jerk. Pretty soon you just leap to the conclusion that that’s the only thing around, and don’t even realize that’s a fallacy. A shift in perspective and you can say, “Hey, maybe the problem isn’t out there. Maybe the problem is me.”

And once you’ve stopped blaming circumstances outside yourself, then you can take responsibility and be open to find a new way.

So fear of leaving, fear of change, fear of landing in the same kind of situation all over again, fear that you’ll never find a decent boss, that you won’t get paid well or enough or more, that it will be too far to drive (the list goes on) are all underlying - and often unconscious - reasons why change doesn’t happen.

It’s the belief that “there’s nothing out there,” and “what am I going to find that’s different/better than this?” that’s part of the problem. Funny thing is that belief perpetuates itself. In other words, as long as you believe that, you’re not going to look. What you think, what you say, and what you believe is what you manifest. How will you find anything if you don’t look? Or if when you look, you find something wrong with every opportunity that catches your eye?

“Oh I could do that! No, probably too far to drive.”
“There’s something….yeah, but they’re not going to pay me as much.”
“Hmmm - what about this? No, that sounds like it’s going to be a lot of hours.”

And as this goes on for weeks at at a time, nothing changes. You find a way to sabotage every potential opportunity or optimistic thought about changing companies.

Here’s the thing though: that’s entirely normal. Underneath all that is self-doubt, anxiety, fear of rejection, fear of having made the wrong decision, and once you’re into the process - fear of having botched the interview, feeling as if you ARE botching the interview process - RIGHT NOW. It’s going to be forever -why not just blow it off? After all, you’ve got a job that pays.

Some have no problem getting started, but can’t seem to follow through and finish. When you begin, you think of all the reason why you want to go. Then as the “go” gets closer, you think of all the reasons why you want to stay. Then you stay, and find that nothing has changed. You still want to go, only now you’re kicking yourself for having turned down the job you worked so hard to find.

When I was a recruiter it happened frequently, especially when I was doing nursing. An offer had been extended, accepted, and then: “I’ve been thinking about it and….” and we’d have to go through it all over again.

The best way to conquer your fear is to walk straight into it. When you want to go, write down a list of reasons why you want to leave and what isn’t satisfying you about your job. List the characteristics of the environment and job you want to be in. As you get toward the end of your search and find yourself with an offer in hand, go back to that list of what you don’t like about your job. Know that the job you are leaving isn’t going to change, and that’s why YOU are.

Because once you’ve made the switch, you’ll find the fear disappears and a renewed confidence takes its place. And once you’ve committed yourself to a new path, the new becomes the old and familiar and you’ll wonder how you ever contemplated staying at that other place that made you so miserable.

If you’ve done your homework on what you want, if you’ve done your prep before the interview, if you’ve been honest with yourself and the hiring authorities, you could find yourself in a job you love. And alot of those people are out there too. Just google “I love my job” instead of its alternative. Which site would you rather have an entry on?

Popularity: 2% [?]