Career Cube Blog

This week I had the pleasure of teaching a class on Networking Skills to students from Marywood University in Scranton PA. I very clearly remember my college days when a “networking event” was a bunch of us allowed into the Formal room on campus to try to make conversation with alumni who could potentially get us a job.  We were like moths to a flame as we flitted awkwardly around the adults in the room and made some pathetic attempts at conversations that didn’t sound like we were begging for a job.  We were unsuccessful and definitely pathetic.

I now try to teach people what I’ve learned from my years of having to “work a room.”  I’m naturally an introvert–yes, believe it or not, I am-so I can definitely empathize with people who are terrified out of their minds at having to make conversation with people they barely know, let alone eventually ask them for a job.  I still have to gear myself up for an event and get a game plan in my head.  I don’t claim to be an expert, but there are definitely some never fail things I do that make the process easier.

1         Wear something you look and feel good in.  It’s impossible to confidently talk to new people if you think that a pair of pants makes you look fat, that your tie has the remnants of lunch on it, or if your shoes hurt.  You need to wear an outfit that makes you feel like you’re hosting the party. You score extra points if you wear what I call a converstation-starter piece of jewelery (ring, pin) or a distinctive tie or scarf.  It gives people something to say to you when they walk up to you..which leads me to…

2        The best conversation-starter is a compliment.  Hands down.  Never fails.  Who can’t resist liking someone who just paid them a genuine compliment?  It’s not sucking up if it’s genuine and sincere, so find something about that person that helps them to stand out from the crowd.  They’ll then feel like they owe you some conversation and will take the time to get to know you.  It’s all good.

3        Listen to the other person.  DO NOT scan the room looking for your friend, the punch bowl, or the closest restroom (unless it’s an emergency).  People love eye contact and feeling like they’re being listened to.  Everyone is an interesting person, you just need to show them that you want to figure out what is interesting about them.

4        Have your exit strategy at the ready.   A few years ago I would go to some events like book signings, or business networking/chamber of commerce shindigs.  Inevitably I’d get stuck in the corner talking to some person-who was very nice-but was never in a million years going to refer business to me, and was just leaching onto me because they were too nervous to meet other people.  Ahhh the curse of being TOO nice.  So I’d get stuck, and then ticked off at myself for being such a dope who couldn’t get out of a bad conversation.  So now I have my exit lines ready, and I ain’t afraid to use ‘em.  My favorite one is to say:  “I don’t want to monopolize your time, so I’ll let you go and meet other people.  I’ve enjoyed talking to you, we should keep in touch.” and then ZOOM, I’m outta there, and we’re both free to roam about the room. Deep down they know they should meet other people too-so they really can’t argue.  You can also leave a conversation to get another drink, more food or some fresh air.  Don’t feel bad, if you really did like that person, I’m sure they’d be happy to chat with you further when you don’t have a networking agenda.

The cool thing that the students realized the other night is that you can network ANYWHERE!  All of us come into contact with strangers every day, we just need to be open to meeting them.  The bookstore, mall, grocery store, train, any place where you make that quick eye contact with someone and start a connection.  Perhaps you are in the grocery store picking some lettuce in the produce dept. and you and someone else suddenly get a cold shower when they wash down the vegetables.  Laughing, making eye contact and sharing the moment with them can start a bond.  You can share a few words and might even start a longer conversation.  Sometimes it happens just that simply.  You end up exchanging business cards and might even start a friendship.

Bottom line, be open to the possibility.  Having a genuine curiosity about your fellow man can lead to some interesting opportunities.

Popularity: 92% [?]

Four years ago VisionQuest began with an ebook that I wrote to de-mystify recruiters. Essentially, it pulls the curtain back on them, tells you how to get noticed by one, how to work with one, and most importantly, how to tell a good one from a bad one. It morphed into more than that though - so even if you’re not working with a recruiter, there’s a ton of helpful info in there on interviewing, resigning, all of that.

But I’m not writing this with the intent to plug the book - even though that’s what it looks like. I’m writing it to tell you about how a bad recruiter can really screw things up.

My boyfriend is looking to make a change. He’s a high-level tax guy. He’s a recruiter’s dream, because he has everything a company could want: public, private, international, specific (and not very common) government regulations and all sorts of other stuff. Plus he’s been with his current company for ten years. That’s about as specific as I dare get.

So this recruiter calls him and from the small amount of information provided, it sounds like exactly what Steve is looking for. He checks in with me on questions and prep and everything else he wants to make sure he covers, gets back with the recruiter, finds out additional pertinent information, and they set up a phone interview.

As soon as the phone interview is finished, the company wants to set up an in-person interview so that Steve can meet a few others. That takes place less than a week later. A very good sign.

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Popularity: 16% [?]

It’s very common to be hesitant to attend a networking event or party when you don’t know anyone. You want to be able to confidently work the room, meet everyone and have a good time. Instead you end up hanging out by the bar and eating your fill of cheese and crackers.

It’s OK. Everyone feels that way, and everyone has their own way of getting around it. Here’s a few tips.

Make it easy for others to connect with you. If you’re a woman, wear a piece of interesting jewelry, or a noticeable scarf. You don’t want to be the one wearing the pink cowboy hat, but you do want to be tasteful. If you’re a man, wear a class ring, pin, or an interesting tie. Give people something to talk to you about and ask you questions about as an easy icebreaker.

When you go to an event compliment others on what they’re wearing. (Secret:you don’t need to LOVE it) However, everyone does love a compliment and will instantly be your friend. That’s a great way to start a conversation and put someone in a friendly state of mind to network with you.

Share a slice of humanity with people. If you’re nervous–admit it to somoene else who also seems to be hugging the wall and have a nice laugh. If the food is above average, make a comment to the person in line with you.

50% of networking is the attitude you bring to an event, and 50% is the attitude that other people bring as well. If you’re talking to someone but they just don’t seem to be that into you, politely excuse yourself and move on. They might have had a bad day, may not be in the mood, could be coming down with a cold, anything! You don’t have to stay in a one-sided conversation. Which brings me to…

You need to have some conversation exit-strategies in mind, or bring a networking buddy with you. If you find yourself talking to someone for too long, simply say: “It’s been great talking to you, but I don’t want to monopolize your time. Is it OK if I follow-up with you next week?” You were polite so they didn’t feel like you were abandoning them, and you’re free to meet other people. A networking buddy can help rescue you, or you them, if you see that they’re stuck talking to someone too long.

If you want to be the person who “works a room”–then be that person. Have that image in your mind of a confident, funny, entertaining person who smoothly moves between different groups at an event. That person would make everyone feel important, get to know a little bit about everyone and then move on to another. He or she would always have a smile and a friendly attitude. They would also know when they needed to move on from a conversation–(HINT–improv trick–usually at the highpoint), and have several exit strategies at the ready. That’s it. That’s all it takes. It’s your attitude, and being aware of connecting with others.

Popularity: 8% [?]