Career Cube Blog

Googling “I hate my job” brings up a depressing website full of people complaining, often hatefully, about what they do for a living. Very few seem to be doing anything except finding fault. Are they expecting to walk into the office one day and find a significant change has taken place?

Job scenarios like these are one reason why it’s so vital to identify the components of your perfect job before you go looking. Understanding the science and psychology of the search process helps you see that through your mental attitude and ensuing choices, you’re the one controlling both the process and the outcome.

It’s generally fear that keeps people where they are: fear of change combined with landing in the same miserable type of environment. If you’ve never had a job you enjoyed, you’ve no reason to believe the next one could be different. But a shift in perspective and you can say, “Maybe every job isn’t bad; maybe it’s how I’m looking for them.”

Once you’ve stopped blaming circumstances outside yourself, then you can take responsibility, be open to finding a new way, and watch your search unfold in a dramatically different manner.

Fear of change, fear of landing in the same situation, fear that you won’t be paid well or enough or more, that it will be too far to drive (the list goes on) are all underlying - and often unconscious - reasons why change doesn’t happen.

It’s the belief that “There’s nothing out there that’s different/better than this,” that’s part of the problem. What you think, what you say, and what you believe is what you manifest, thus the belief perpetuates itself. If that’s what you believe, you won’t look. But how will you find anything if you don’t look? Or if when you look, you find something wrong with every opportunity that catches your eye? Read more

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That which you give attention to, grows.

Don’t believe me? Try an experiment. For three weeks, constantly think about how tired you are and how you need a break. Think it, say it to everyone, write it down, sigh in exasperation, complain, and hope something happens to give you the break you so badly need. Then notice how you break your leg and have to rest for the next six weeks. Notice how nicely the universe gave you exactly what you asked for (break - break? get it?)

Then, for the next six weeks, while you’re taking it easy on your broken leg, repeat to yourself over and over, while you’re driving in your car, brushing your teeth, getting the mail, sitting on hold: “Great things happen to me! I’m a very lucky person!” And while you’re at it, three times/day, write it down 10x each time. Then watch all the cool stuff that happens.

All of you pooh-poohing me stop and think a minute about all the unconscious phrases and beliefs you subscribe to without even knowing it. Everyone who says the following - or similar - and notices how frequently and constantly you’re always wondering why these things are so, raise your hand:

1. I can’t believe I’m always doing such stupid things!
2. This day started off badly and it just keeps getting worse!
3. Why am I always losing things?
4. I’m so bad with names!

A-HA! Now you know why all those things happen. Becuase you’re giving so much attention to what is, that it stays that way. Here’s what’s happening:

1. You’re doing such stupid things becuase you perpetuate in believing you do stupid things. When you decide that you’re sick of doing “stupid” things and choose to change the situation by reframing how you see it, then you’ll stop doing “stupid” things.
2. Some guy cut you off in traffic and you got all ticked off about it. Then what happened? You stayed that way…because you chose to. Because you wanted to! Hang with me here…part of you likes it! You have a great story to tell when you get to work (”the injustice of people - can you believe what he did to me?”). Drama works for a lot of people. Bad days make for good drama. So the bad keeps getting dwelt on and thus keeps happening, until for some reason, you decide to snap out of it when something “made” you happy.
3. See #1. When you’re tired of losing things, you’ll start paying attention to where you put them. You’ll also notice that if you still lose them, it’s because you’re not paying attention to where you put them. When you decide you’re tired of looking for things, then you’ll start paying attention and won’t spend so much time in the drama of cussing out the item you’re looking for becuase you can’t find it and you’re in a hurry or whatever.
4. See #1 and #3. Pay attention. Repeat the name. Stop using that phrase as an excuse.

What do all these things have in common? Choice. You control your thoughts, you control your choices, you control your actions, you control the results.

What we’re talking about is energy. Everything is made up of energy; but let’s focus on you. Your thoughts project it, your words create it, your mood is suffused with it. When you like the drama of losing something or getting cut off in traffic, you bring more of that type of thing to you because that’s what you want. You look for ways to create it. You don’t even know you’re doing it.

Self sabotage is the same principle. Ever dated someone who believed they didn’t deserve you? And kept telling you that? They were afraid you’d leave, right? So what did they do? They kept asking you were you’d been, asking you if you love them, putting themself down and fishing for compliments until finally…….you said, “ENOUGH! I’m OUTTA here!”

And what they were afraid of is exactly what happened…..it’s exactly what they created. That’s what they wanted, that’s what they thought about, that’s what they go. You. Going. Out the door.

How does this apply to your job search? Are you uttering “I’ll never find a job!”? Then stop it. Look at what’s going wrong and if you don’t know what it is - and you probably don’t or it wouldn’t be happening - then find someone who can tell you.

When it comes to finding your perfect job, first you have to believe there is such a thing as your perfect job. You can’t find it if you don’t believe it exists. Makes sense, yes?

Secondly, some things involve technique and understanding of the process. You can believe all you want to that you can remodel your bathroom, but if you don’t know how to do it, it’s not going to happen (not like you see it in your head, anyway!) unless you learn the proper technique. Finding a job is no exception despite more than half the universe believing the complete opposite.

But if you believe you can find it, then your head starts looking for ways to make that happen. It begins to find ways to create it. You become open to new ideas and possibilities. You become more open to the possibility of problems so that you can find solutions. You become more focused on what you want instead of desperate for anything, becuase the very definition of “perfect” job excludes “any” job. By default, if you believe you can find your perfect job, you’ll begin to define what your perfect job is, and ignore anything that isn’t that.

What’s the moral of this story? Pay attention to what you think, what you believe, and what you say. The way things are is because you want them that way. Consciously, or more likely unconsciouly, you you made that choice. If you don’t like what you’re getting, then choose what you want and make sure your thoughts, actions, beliefs, and words match up.

That which you give attention to, grows.

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Doncha’ just love it when you start on the job hunt and have a string of bad interviews? You did everything you could to prepare, and gave great answers to their questions, but you still didn’t get the offer! Then your self confidence starts to fade and you begin to doubt your interview skills and assume that you must have done something wrong.

Believe it or not, when I start to coach someone on improving their interview skills, the first thing we do is talk about their past interviews. Not to discover what they did wrong, but to debunk their bad experiences and show them that it’s not them, it’s the company that’s got the problem. I also point out to people that some companies are so dysfunctional that they’re better off getting out while the gettin’s good.

One client described a company that made her wait for 25 minutes, and then when she was brought back to the interview room, waited another 10 minutes because she was supposed to interview with someone else. My advice: If the interviewer seemed appropriately mortified at their inability to pull it together, then they can be forgiven. If they acted like this is par for the course, take that into consideration when you evaluate their offer.

A friend of mine had a great interview for a job she wanted, they liked her, she liked them, but the company went with an internal candidate. 6 months later that same company called her again, she had another great interview; they liked her, she liked them, and again they gave the job to another candidate. They wanted to keep in touch with her after that 2nd round, but she advised them to “forget you ever met me.” I concur.

I was talking with someone this week who was interviewed by a hiring manager in shorts and flip-flops. He was interviewing for a professional position, not something involving sunscreen and a beach. The insult to the candidate was that the flip-flop guy didn’t think my friend was qualified for the job. My advice: I asked him if he’d really be happy working for flip-flop guy and respect him as a boss. His answer: No. NEXT!

Another horror story from a client who had a great first interview with the people she’d be working with and to whom she’d be directly reporting. They asked her back for a 2nd interview-seemingly as a formality-to meet with the boss one level up. Unfortunately she didn’t get along with that boss, and she found out that the company had already had 3 people in that position over the past 18 months. She was frustrated because she had been the runner-up candidate for several positions and didn’t understand why she wasn’t getting offers. When we talked about what situations she saw at those companies, she saw that it wasn’t all about her, but that companies can have too much internal drama and you’re really better off walking/running away.

So the next time you’re lamenting your poor job interview luck take a closer look at what the interview process taught you about the company. Sure, everyone wants to be flooded with offers like dates to the prom, but just because the rude jerk/witchy woman asks you, doesn’t mean that you should spend an evening with them. You deserve better!

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