Career Cube Blog

In my consultations with clients, I usually ask a few typical interview questions, just to see how they respond, especially when I’ve ascertained that their non-results seem to be coming from their interviewing skills - or lack thereof.

In columns, the newsletter, consultations, emails, my articles and speaking engagements, I repeat, repeat, repeat about the importance of preparation for an interview. Know the questions you’re going to ask. Study typical questions asked on an interview. Know how you’re going to answer. Know what you’re looking for. Make sure your questions reflect what you need to find out about that job and company.

Here’s the prevailing - and mistaken - train of thought: “It’s an interview. They want to know what I’ve done. It’s me; it’s my career; I know all about that. Piece of cake.” Period. End of sentence. Basta, as they say in Italy. Nothing more necessary.

Then you get into that interview and the questions come and you think you’re doing fine, and sometimes you are. Except if you have trouble answering one, you’re thrown for a loop and it colors the rest of the interview. If you’ve been fired, you’re defensive walking in the door. If you don’t have a degree, you’re defensive walking in the door. If you really need a job, you’re mentally groveling and probably don’t even know it.

People try to fit themselves into a job and don’t even know if they want that job. As a result, people just try to get every job for which they interview. And yes, I do advocate that. But you need to know the difference between a job you’re pursuing because it fits your profile - and jobs you’re just…pursuing.

Also, when you know what you want in your perfect job, you aren’t giving all your power away. When you give away your power, the subtext of what you’re saying - your tone of voice, your body language, your answers - can say, “Hire me! Please!” And you don’t even know it.

This is the norm! How do I know this? I’ve been talking to candidates in the job search process for over 20 years! I’ve been talking to employers for almost that long! So this norm - which is prevalent all across the management and salary scale - doesn’t make sense. And it doesn’t get you want you want.

Here are just two of many, many more specific examples I’ve seen that can be alleviated by a) knowing what you want, b) practicing some interview questions and answers, and c) remembering you have the power to contribute to the decision making proces.

SCENARIO #1: You pick up a vibe - something’s gone wrong. Assumption: something you said, something they picked up about you, something they don’t like.
Normal response: You try harder in an effort to dispel it.
Do this instead: “I seem to have said something that isn’t sitting well with you. Do you mind if I ask what it is so I can clarify or dispel any possible misconception?”
Why: Because it gets it out in the open. Then you can discuss it, address it, agree with it, wake up to it, correct it, whatever. And it doesn’t continue to sit on your mind, leaving you wondering what’s going on, and sabotaging - even mildly - the remainder of the interview.

SCENARIO #2: The interviewer says he thinks you’re overqualified. You sense an end to the interview and a dismissal.
Normal response: To overcome the objection and convince him that you’re not.
Do this instead: Ask him why he believes that to be so.
Why: Because then you can address specifically why he has that impression. Perhaps you have experience you haven’t elaborated on or that isn’t on your resume. Perhaps he’s formed a quick opinion based on something that flew out of your mouth. On the other hand, maybe he’s right. And if he is, then acknowledge it and end the interview - unless you’re looking for something for which you’re overqualified. And if you are, then we’re back to why you should know what you’re looking for, which would have eliminated this entire scenario because you’d have addressed the issue up front.

I read an article today where the author listed about 15 rules for interviewing, and called them that. Rules. Are their rules for interviewing? Well, no! There are wise things to do, and there are things that aren’t so wise. But rules? What does rules make you think of? How does that word make you feel? RULES. Pay attention to the RULES. If you don’t follow the RULES you will be punished. And then you’ll be sorry! RULES are set for your own good.

Words like RULES can catapult you back to childhood immediately, psychologically take away your power and give it to the person who gets to decide if you are following the rules or not. Or leave you feeling rebellious. It’s just not a very pleasant word. It implies there’s an ultimatum in there somewhere, which rather removes the freedom of choice aspect.

With all this interview advice floating around everywhere, no one ever reminds job seekers how important it is to remain in control of the outcome or how to do that or why. And that’s part of what leaves job seekers automatically on the defensive. Preached at - always with the sense of “do this if you know what’s good for you. Do this if you want the job.” Okay - but what about the other side? Your side? What about how to overcome that fear of not having a degree and how to handle it - specifically what to say.

One of my clients in California had a particularly messy situation with his reason for having been fired from his last job. The guy is a phenomenal, upper-level business banker. The question about leaving his last job was throwing him for a loop. He didn’t know what to say. He kept trying different things.

The banks that wanted him were second tier banks for whom he didn’t want to work. The first tier banks that he wanted to work for were turning him down. I told him what to say - gave him the exact, specific wording - and told him to practice it until he could say it smoothly and lightly and naturally.

He did. You know what happened? Instead of frowing and then an awkward silence, his interviewers laughed, nodded, and smiled in understanding. And he got hired.

Ironically enough, those who are defensive interviewers generally don’t even know it. And if I were to list all the scenarios to help you determine if you are, this newsletter would be too long and in several parts. So some of you will stop to consider, “Am I?” And many of you will go, “That’s ridiculous. I don’t have that problem.” And tell yourself why what you just said is true. And some of you don’t!

But a whole lot of you who think you don’t, do. You walk in the door, standing tall, shoulders squared, smile on your face, wanting to impress, wanting to make a good impression, and you’re defensive and may not even know it.

Pay attention to what you’re feeling. Start practicing awareness. Notice the shifts in energy during the conversation - and if this sounds too woo-woo to you, all the more reason to follow my suggestion.

When you start getting a grip on awareness, you begin to notice if you’re a defensive interviewer. Then you can pinpoint what the problem is and fix it. And if you already know that you’re a defensive interviewer, what are you doing about it?

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